And I wonder if I ever cross your mind? For me it happens all the time...

I want to travel. I want to go to new places, sail the open seas, talk to strangers, try new foods. I want to visit friends in other countries. As much as I hate the unknown and vulnerability, there is something about traveling that makes these things appealing. I want to go to Turkey, since I never made it there on SAS, to visit Bahar and have her show me around Istanbul and other places.. and hopefully make it to Pamukkale. I want to see the castles of Ireland, I want to go back to Italy and climb Vesuvius, go back to Greece and get to Santorini. I would even settle for traveling to new places in the US. Go to the north east and see the coastline, visit Theresa in Rhode Island, see the Grand Canyon, go to New Orleans, cruise down Duval in Key West, get to Seattle and drink coffee :P. Hopefully I make it to L.A. in July. I just love new and exciting things.

On a completely unrelated note, I am REALLY excited for the wedding I am in on June 12. I think it will be so fun to get all fancy with my hair, my nails, and my pretty dress. It is at a winery, so it will be great to try the different types of wine they will have - just hope my mom is driving me home. lol. Also, I will be attending a wedding July 17. I need to find myself a date for this wedding! No one likes to go to weddings alone, that's boring. I also need to make some snicker doodles for the wedding. I am gonna have to start making them the week before.. thats a LOT of snicker doodles.

Hmm... what else? I am really bored and cannot sleep, so I am just droning on.  I am ready for summertime. I know I am done with school, but where in the world is the warm weather?! I know for sure that it is NOT in Pennsylvania/Virginia, or anywhere in between. Speaking of summer, I am kind of torn with what to do. I already have 2 jobs in State College, but I kinda want to be in Johnstown for the summer, buuuuuuuuuuuut I think that I will go INSANE at home. I LOVE my family to death, but being there ALL the time is a little stressful, as far as having to answer to someone all the time. Buuuuut I am also going to be kinda lonely in State College. I mean, I will have friends there, but everyone is going to be busy working and some are taking classes, so I feel like a lot of time will be spent alone. Hopefully thats a good thing... might make me focus more on my life. Who knows. Also, someone from my past keeps coming back into my life. I don't know how to feel about this. It kind of makes me feel confused. I feel happy about it because this person is on my mind a lot, but at the same time, its probably not the best thing because... it just is what it is and will most likely not be anything more than that... It is just.. all the good memories are what sticks out in my head. I could list so many good things, but I could list a good number of not so great things. It's just hard and confusing and I just don't even know how to feel.

Confused?

Yeah, me too.

Oh well.

I am really excited to go home. Even if it is just for a few days. It will be nice to be there. Buuut at the same time, I don't want to leave Virginia, because I am pretty sure that this is the last time I will be in my Grandmother's house. This is so hard. Although, this house is SUPER haunted by my Grandfather - I think, anyway.

Well, I think that is all I have to randomly ramble about tonight. Thanks for reading. If you made it this far, you should probably check yourself into the psych ward. I would have stopped reading a long time ago. xoxo Katie

Reality of life.

Well I made it to the light at the end of the tunnel of my 4th, but not quite final, year at Penn State. Finals sucked every last bit of life out of me. I had two 8am finals and another one in the afternoon and I worked 20 hours (which is the most we are allowed to work while working for PSU and going to school). Needless to say, I was pretty delirious and my room was a wreck by the end of the week..... buut after all that work, even though I wasn't planning on it, my friends got me to go out to the Indigo with them. We did not even get there until midnight, but it was a GREAT way to end finals week. A couple drinks, a lot of dancing, and some pizza to finish off the night - instead of packing. :P

After 4 hours of sleep, a double shift on Friday, 2 coffees, a milkshake, and LOTS of loud music, dancing and singing, I made it to Virginia.. around 1 am Saturday morning. It's been a pretty uneventful weekend, which is just perfect because I am exhausted. Yesterday, we went to the Herberts for a cookout and game night. It was a really great time. Tonight, we had a mother's day dinner -- even though my grandmother could not even get out of bed. We had a great dinner - cheesy potatoes, they had some kinda beef and I had grouper, creamed spinich, and salad - great drinks - red wine, champagne, and some beer -  and great friends - Donna and Darrell. All was well until my dad sent me upstairs to check on my grandmother to see if she needed anything - even though if she did, she would never tell me. She just isn't doing that well, and it's really hard to see her so weak and fragile. It brought me to tears. I am just scared because I do not do well with losing people that I love. Hopefully she gets better soon, its hard to see her in pain.

Tomorrow is my last full day in Virginia, then its home, and then NYC. Hopefully the next week and a half is GREAT.